Runs observations separate from evaluations, then routes conflict through feelings, universal human needs, and concrete doable requests — turning criticism into connection.
Use when blame spirals, moral judgments, or vague accusations block collaboration and you need language that disarms without surrendering boundaries.
Rewrite messy complaints into four clean components until the pattern feels automatic.
Catch judgment masquerading as neutral truth — especially in loaded adjectives.
Stop arguing about tactics until both sides name the human needs at stake.
Practice guessing others' needs without agreeing — lowers defensiveness before problem-solving.